Being a Parent

Motherhood is a choice you make everyday to put someone else's happiness and well-being ahead of your own to teach the hard lessons to do the right thing even when you're not sure what the right thing is... and to forgive yourself over and over again for doing everything wrong.
Being a parent means putting your selfish wants behind you and sacrificing everything you love for your child! A parent means praying your children will grow, while wishing they could stay little forever. Part of being a parent means keeping a smile on your face regardless of how much you may be falling apart inside. 
Regardless of how fantabulous you are at child-rearing, every mother, single or not, worries about their children. Am I raising them right? Am I teaching them the things they need to know to do well in the world? Am I a good mom? Do not ask that your kids live up to your expectations.  Let your kids be who they are, and your expectations will be in breathless pursuit. If you think that being a great parent requires a limitless amount of patience, you are wrong. You need more than that. Raising a family is difficult enough. But it's even more difficult for single parents struggling to make ends meet. They don't need more obstacles. They need more opportunities. Don't handicap your children by making their lives easy. Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted.  

They need your presence far more than any gifts you might buy for them. Children need quality time. You have to avail yourself to them as much as possible. 
I know its hard being a single mother but I'd rather do it by myself than with someone who doesn't want to. Our attitude towards what has happened to us in life is the important thing to recognize. Once hopeless, my life is now hope-full, but it did not happen overnight. The last of human freedoms, to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, is to choose one's own way. 
Remember to pray always and seek the guidance of God who so loves you and your precious children. Note that before God you and your children are the apple of His eyes.
My promise to my Kids: I am not your friend. I am your Mother. I will stalk you, flip out on you, lecture you, drive you insane, be your worst nightmare & hunt you down like a bloodhound when needed because I LOVE YOU! When you understand that, I will know you are a responsible adult. You will never find someone who loves, prays, cares and worries about you more than I do!

"Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." - Proverbs 22:6

Up to singing again...

August is here. My first post for this month. I guess this is a long overdue, I should have my first post the first day of the month, but I got mood swings that I couldn't  come out of something to post. But I need to keep this page going, so let me share what I'm up to for the past few days. I'm into singing again!!! Whoaa!! But not in the sense of solo singing, 'coz I don't have that much talent of singing on stage. I was glad that I have joined group singing in preparation for our church Thanksgiving Anniversary this month. Indeed I enjoy it and at the same time waking up those sleeping vocal chords once again.  It has been 15 years since the last time I joined a Music Ministry. I love singing, I love music, and Thank God music loves me too. 

Who would say that my type of music is rock? Well that was before. Remembering Sebastian Bach not Johann but of Skid Row, Mark Slaughter, Motley Crue, Guns n' Roses, Nirvana, Kirk Hammet and a lot from rock music. I almost remember getting in love with Sebastian Bach, that was crazy of me and now I couldn't imagine having that thought again. My renewal was blessing to me, such a grace that with me alone, I can't do it but with God's grace I was transformed. And now I loved singing for the Lord. 

I can’t express this enough. Singing is a very physical activity. You must be energized and excited about what you’re doing or else it lacks passion (and it’s flat!). Singing with energy helps you hit higher notes and helps keep the sound out of the throat. Allow yourself to get excited before singing…and believe what you're singing. Singing should feel like speaking.There should be no pressing, tension, straining, reaching, or grabbing when vocally active. These sensations usually happen when we try to force the sound out of us. If you’re not able to sing something, try to bring it back to speech first. You’d be surprised how easy that high “C” can be when you speak it.

I once read a quote that has stuck with me for years. It was something along the lines of, “that which comes closest to expressing the inexpressible is music.” Music is a form of expression. It’s alive and has a great ability to influence listeners. But that’s only true when you believe what you’re singing. Try to connect to the song through some personal life experience and see how alive the music you’re singing becomes. The joy is actually in the music. It's the music that supports you and tells you what to do. It tells you how to fill the music. You don't have to be shy about feeling the music when you're singing. If you believe in music—the power of music, the music will support you and take you to another dimension. Life is a musical so sing like no one is listening!

Right now, still we're into practicing and I believed on the day of performance, it will be Majestic. We're going to reap the effort, time and talent we are exerting. We are bless as well for having a very good and with a Godly given talented music Teacher. So remember God respects us when we work, but God Loves us when we Sing!

My lips will shout for joy, when I sing praises to you; my soul also, which you have redeemed.

Psalm 71:23

Loss of a Loved one...

Are you one of those people who have loss their loved ones not for a moment

but for a lifetime? Have you ever lost someone you love and wanted one more conversation, one more chance to make up for the time when you thought they would be here forever? If so, then you know you can go your whole life collecting days, and none will outweigh the one you wish you had back. I came to this post which inspires me to write about losing a loved one, what I mean death of a loved one. I just came from a funeral which touches my heart most as I saw someone who cried so hard as the departed person was about to bury down it's pit. The thought came to me, how does it feels after sending someone you loved for the last time, then go back to your place where you can see all the memories of in every corner of your place.I just can't imagined it, but still as I picture it out, my heart breaks. I haven't experience this yet in my life, but I know that my turn of grieving will just come.All of us has one destination, to our God the Father... so we must not be afraid of death. While you still have your gift of life, treasure every moment of it... follow and obey what is written for you to be ready anytime that your borrowed life will come to a point that we have to return it to the rightful owner. 

Every one of us is losing something precious to us. Lost opportunities, lost possibilities, feelings we can never get back again. That’s part of what it means to be alive. Because God is never cruel, there is a reason for all things. We must know the pain of loss; because if we never knew it, we would have no compassion for others, and we would become monsters of self-regard, creatures of unalloyed self-interest. The terrible pain of loss teaches humility to our prideful kind, has the power to soften uncaring hearts, to make a better person of a good one. It’s the emotional suffering you feel when something or someone you love is taken away. The more significant the loss, the more intense the grief will be. You may associate grief with the death of a loved one, which is often the cause of the most intense type of grief but any loss can cause grief. Feeling sad, frightened, or lonely is a normal reaction to loss. Crying doesn't mean you are weak. You don’t need to “protect” your family or friends by putting on a brave front. Showing your true feelings can help them and you.                 

 

When those you love die, the best you can do is honor their spirit for as long as you live. You make a commitment that you're going to take whatever lesson that person was trying to teach you, and you make it true in your own life... it's a positive way to keep their spirit alive in the world, by keeping it alive in yourself. It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything. Although it’s difficult today to see beyond the sorrow, by looking back in memory help comfort you tomorrow. 

Your grief is your own, and no one else can tell you when it’s time to “move on” or “get over it.” Let yourself feel whatever you feel without embarrassment or judgment. It’s okay to be angry, to yell at the heavens, to cry or not to cry. It’s also okay to laugh, to find moments of joy, and to let go when you’re ready. There is no right or wrong time frame for grieving. How long it takes can differ from person to person. Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form. Eventually, everything goes away. I guess by now I should know enough about loss to realize that you never really stop missing someone-you just learn to live around the huge gaping hole of their absence.

As ones said "The most beautiful people I've known are those who have known trials, have known struggles, have known loss, and have found their way out of the depths." and as Mahatma Gandhi says  “You don't know who is important to you until you actually lose them.” 

So while we have all the chances in this world to spend more time with people someone we loved, important to us, people part of our life... we must not waste every minute of our time. We never know how much time do we have to stay here on earth, so live...forgive...accept...treasure...spend...value...and loved every moment or chance that you have. Don't wait for the time when you say it's too late...

 “Those who walk uprightly enter into peace; they find rest as they lie in death.” - Isaiah 57:2

Women's worth, purpose and design...

What is the value that society places on women? It depends on where you live. I know in my world, there are a lot of mixed messages given by the media and culture. A woman is often considered valuable only as a sex play-thing, or as a career woman, or as someone who can have babies. Is our value to be found in our role, in our gender, in our looks? Even if the role is a good one, such as being a mother, is that where we women should derive our value? Is that all we should live for or try to live up to?

Let me share this post from one of the advertisement of a Telecom company on how Joppet Tan, a friend, a son of a Christian couple that I always look up who has a vital role in my renewal, sees the worth of a woman.  The post keeps on trending, reaches up to 2500 likes, almost 1500 shares and more than 300 comments in a span of time and until now it keeps on trending. So sad that a lot of people such as Atheist, feminist, liberal minded and people in different walks of life keep on bashing him, called him Sexist (Sexism - discrimination based on gender especially discrimination against women), Bigoted, been ask what century he lives in saying he has medieval thinking and a lot of criticism was thrown to him. And yet all of these does not affect Joppet from being bashed, he just quoted " Standing up for God and your generation is not easy, it will never be. But it's worth it." and followed by another quote " Being pursued doesn't mean you're powerless. It simply means that you are valuable :) Ladies, you are worth waiting for! Always remember that :)" says Joppet in his status. 

Here's a link:

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10201340233416663&set=a.3475558776535.157525.1498188559&type=1&theater

Let me share one comment from Anna Cosio said " I don't think Joppet is sexist in posting this; he is actually the one here who sees the true worth of women. Men must be man enough to pursue the woman they want and not just lazily wait for her to make the first move. This "gender equality" thing some extreme feminists are clamoring for will be used against us women someday. It's being used against us now, actually. Gender equality ba? Ayan tuloy, no gentleman would give up his seat anymore for a lady in crowded bus or train. Tapos magrereklamo tayo? If you're a lady, act like one. If you're a man, be a gentleman. Walang kinalaman ang sexism at gender "equality" dito."

Definitely Anna Cosio is right! Sexism and Equality of Gender is not the point of this post. This is regarding the Worth, the Purpose and Design of a woman in the Bible that affirms it. The value of a woman is not based so much on her differing perspectives from that of a man, though they are different. Her value is not rooted in her gender, though her gender is different from man’s and should be valued for its femininity and “femaleness”. Her value in my view is not rooted so much in her role as wife, mother, sister or daughter, 

though those roles are good and when done well are quite wonderful. But the value of a woman is rooted in the fact that she was made by God who created her in His image because He loved her, sent His Son to die for her because He loved her, and sealed her, empowered her and gifted her because He thought she was worth it. The Lord who made you fashioned you very delicately and purposefully to be exactly the unique female you are. He has a plan for you, and His ideals transcend the here-and-now. In spite of what you may have been raised to believe, the worth of your womanhood is not determined by your looks or behavior or personality type or position in life. You're a beloved and righteous princess in the eyes of your Father the King.Your job as a woman is to rejoice in how He made you and find satisfaction in His love each day.

If you pursue men, you will pursue them for the rest of your life. So we should know, "A woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her". 

WOMAN YOU ARE MEANT TO BE PURSUED, YOUR ARE WORTH WAITING FOR.

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. Proverbs 31:10

Have you been offended?...hurt?

Offenses are a primary cause of domestic, marital and family problems as well as in our society. Usually we don't really mean to offend someone or somebody whom we have met along our way. Words don't have the power to hurt you, unless the person who said it means so much to you.Have you ever experienced being betrayed or hurt by someone you loved? Someone whom you have gave your life to that person? Everyone in life is gonna hurt you, You just have to figure out which people are worth the pain. Being hurt is something you can't stop from happening, but being miserable is always your choice. The worst thing about that kind of prejudice... is that while you feel hurt and angry and all the rest of it, it feeds you self-doubt. You start thinking, perhaps I am not good enough. All men and women have an equal need for love. When these needs are not fulfilled it is easy to have our feelings hurt, for which we blame our partner. 

Accept that all of us can be hurt, that all of us can and surely will at times fail. Other vulnerabilities, like being embarrassed or risking love, can be terrifying, too. I think we should follow a simple rule: if we can take the worst, take the risk. 
When people hurt you over and over, think of them like sand paper. They scratch and hurt you a bit, but in the end, you end up polished and realized how grateful you are because of that pain it changes a lot in you and makes you realized that there's a lot more important in life to go on. You have to hurt in order to know, fall in order to grow, lose in order to gain, Because most of life's lessons are learned in pain. You have to get hurt.. that's how you learn... the strongest people out there...the ones who laugh the hardest with a genuine smile...those are the people who have fought the toughest battles. Because they decided that they're not going to let anything hold them down...they're moving on. Don't try to understand everything, because sometimes it is not meant to be understood, but to be accepted. 

I know when I am offended, I must quickly forgive.  Forgiveness is the only answer!  It is the way of escape! The quicker I forgive, the quicker I come back into my right mind.  When I am offended my soul is in control.  When I forgive, my spirit rises up above my soul and takes back over. One of the main reasons we are so easily offended is pride. The most humbling thing you can do is apologize when you are wrong. We are all wrong at some point. When it is your turn, do something beneficial about it. Apologize. It will force you to humble yourself and will speak volumes to the other person. Learn to listen. Most of us don’t. We listen to people that we agree with because we already like what they are saying. but we rarely listen to anyone else. The only way to understand another person is to hear what they have to say. To listen with the goal of understanding, not arguing. Taking responsibility for our actions is much harder than finding someone or something to blame. 

 To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you. How does one know if she has forgiven? You tend to feel sorrow over the circumstance instead of rage, you tend to feel sorry for the person rather than angry with him. You tend to have nothing left to say about it all. There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness. Forgiveness is not always easy. At times, it feels more painful than the wound we suffered, to forgive the one that inflicted it. And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness. Forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace. Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond imperfections. The amount of love you have for someone seems to always be greater than the amount of pain they give you. Because no matter how much they hurt you, we still choose to stay. We don't meet people by accident. They are meant to cross our path for a reason. You will begin to heal yourself when you let go of the things that hurt you in the past, forgive those who have done wrong to you and learn to forgive yourself for the mistakes you have made.

Immature people always want to win an argument even at the cost of a relationship. Mature people understand that it's always better to lose an argument and win a relationship. You want to believe that there's one relationship in life that's beyond betrayal. A relationship that's beyond that kind of hurt. And there isn't.

We need to give each other the space to grow, to be ourselves, to exercise our diversity. We need to give each other space so that we may both give and receive such beautiful things as ideas, openness, dignity, joy, healing, and inclusion. 

Open your eyes, look within... Are you satisfied with the life you're living? As a mother, you have that impulse to wish that no child should ever be hurt, or abused, or go hungry, or not have opportunities in life. I used to hurt so badly that I'd ask God why, what have I done to deserve any of this? I feel now He was preparing me for this, for the future. That's the way I see it.

Everyone can relate to love, hurt, pain, learning how to forgive, needing to get over, needing the power of God in their life.  Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. The most important thing is to enjoy your life - to be happy - it's all that matters.

"Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all sins" -Proverbs 10:12